It's not until I'm laying on the floor with him playing tic tac toe that I realize how much I miss this boy during the day. He was my first and will always be my first. I snuggled with him and read to him when he was just six weeks old. The fact that he rarely closed his eyes made me realize that he would be observant (he is) and that he would always be asking questions (he does).
Did you love me when I was a baby? He asked me this morning while eating his cereal and milk. Mila was still in bed and it was just the two of us.
Oh I certainly did, I say. You were such a sweet baby, but you know something? I still love you so much even now. My voice cracked while I was saying this because I realize he's not a baby anymore. When did that happen?
Even on the hardest days (they're getting easier now; they'll get harder again) I realize that I'm just not ready for them to grow up.
Will we ever be ready for them to grow up? I feel like my daughter is growing in leaps and bounds and all I want to do is hold onto the sound of her sweet 5 year old voice, remember her at just this height, and enjoy her boundless energy. The days are always tinged with a hint of bittersweetness.
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